This is a repost of a blog entry I wrote near the beginning of the pandemic. And while we are staying home a little less often, I feel learning to quarantine our anxiety is as relevant as ever.
We are staying home as much as possible now, but are you still letting anxiety get out (of control)? I cannot and will not tell you not to worry. There are valid reasons to worry, but if you have flipped into anxiety mode full-time lately, it may be time to quarantine. We have all seen the medical dramas… imagine patient zero with symptoms of Medical Mystery X, shut away in a hospital room that resembles a glass box––no one going in or out except the nurse in a hazmat suit. In hospitals these rooms have negative air pressure to prevent any dangerous molecules from escaping. This is the type of serious quarantine we need for all the anxiety going around.
I want you to imagine you have just such a glass room (or any incredibly secure container) that you can put your anxieties and fears into. No one's fears go willingly into a box, so you may have to coach your brain on this part. Remember quarantining your anxiety does not mean you are ignoring it or invalidating it.
Anxiety serves a purpose; it alerts us of urgent concerns or dangers and helps us act as needed. Unfortunately, after we act to protect ourselves, our brains keep on going––doing the work of anxiety even when it is no longer helpful. You may have to have a conversation with your anxiety. Make an agreement that you will honor your fears and protect yourself, but in return it needs to go into quarantine for a time. Even if you can quarantine your anxiety for one hour a day you are making progress. You now have an hour when the rest of your brain can do something productive.
If we are going to quarantine our anxiety, we are going to need some serious coping skills. One of my mentors taught me that everyone needs two types of coping skills: distracting skills and grounding skills. Distracting techniques could include watching a favorite show, having a conversation with a friend, playing a sport, or exercising. Anything that distracts or takes your mind off the worrying. This list is different for everyone. When you make your list, do not just name activities that are generally distracting. It is hard to distract from anxiety so you need things that can really draw you in. For one person household chores could be a nice way to make her feel better about herself and her surroundings, but for a lot of other people this could increase their level of stress. Think about your passions, get creative, and find ways to distract!
The second set of coping skills are grounding techniques. Grounding skills help you feel centered and connected to the ground--the opposite of the flailing and falling feelings that anxiety brings. Coping skills for this list may include mindfulness and meditation activities, prayer or other spiritual practices, or simply a walk in nature. There are dozens of apps out there to assist you with relaxation activities. I personally love the apps that play rain and other water sounds. One quick hint about grounding: Focusing on a few of your five senses can be a quick and easy way to connect body and mind and to slip out of the anxiety track.
As you work to quarantine anxiety you will need both types of coping skills. There will be moments when you need to distract and moments when you need to be grounded. Sometimes you will need to do both. So, here’s your next quarantine activity: Make two lists of coping skills and work on putting all that excess anxiety in lockdown. Please share what works for you in the comments.
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